Hello Homesong readers! Tonight we are having our final discussion over the parenting book, No-Drama Discipline. I’ve decided to take a new route for the summer months and share the discussion questions for our reflections here on this journal so you don’t have to rely on checking email each week. We’ve had so many new signups I cannot keep up! What a wonderful problem to have. It makes me so ridiculously happy that y’all want to spend more time reading, and I want to make sure everyone wanting to participate to has the things they need, so you’ll be able to find questions for An Everlasting Meal right here in one of this week’s postings. I hope this helps!
Alrighty so let’s wrap up No-Drama Discipline by Siegel and Bryson. Y’ALL! How transformative has this book been? Andrew and I have been sharing bits and pieces with one another throughout this month and have each tried so many new techniques with the kids. We are so thankful this book is in our lives right now, and I wish I would have known about it sooner. Here’s my take on the book and why I think it’s such a good reference to have in your parenting toolbox.
- It is research-based and chock-full of important information. This book piggybacks The Whole-Brain Child, which I have not read, and delves into insightful solutions to dealing with discipline for kids of all ages. It does not read like a textbook one bit, but informs in a way that helps form an understanding of how the young brain works with regard to discipline and learning.
- There is something to take away no matter how old your child is. NDD has also helped Andrew and I when having difficult discussions to know that connection before just spilling out information will help us both. In this way, it’s more than a parenting book and really a book about how to better communicate with others.
- It’s practical and gives you real-life examples. I love how up to date this book is when it comes to the scenarios given so I don’t end up feeling like a major turd. It is not written in a condescending way at all, but rather in a gentle tone that is both realistic and reassuring. I was so familiar with many of the ‘wrong ways’ to discipline but I was never left feeling ashamed for how we used to do things.
- It’s a bit redundant, yes, but for good reason. Many of the applications presented are new so it helps reading about them more than once and how they apply in different situations.
- It reinforces the simple but powerful message that neither you nor I are alone. We are in this parenting gig together, and it’s never too late to make a positive change. I quite enjoyed the hopeful way no-drama disciplining was presented and will be revisiting it for as long as my kiddos are living under our roof!
Summary notes from the book:
- First connect, then redirect.
- Turn down the “shark music” and let go of past worry or future fears.
- Chase the why and look for what’s behind the actions.
- Ways to connect with your child: 1). communicate effort, 2). validate 3). stop talking and listen, 4). reflect what you hear
- Discipline is teaching.
- Be consistent but not rigid.
- Mindsight = Empathy + Insight
For those who read along this month, what did you enjoy or learn from this book? What strategies have you tried and loved? What components of the no-drama redirection strategies do you think will help you when dealing with misbehavior? Have you made your disciplining more teaching-based? What is your biggest takeaway if you had to name one? Leave your reflection(s) in the comment section below, dears! For those wanting to read along with our next book, An Everlasting Meal by Tamar Adler, here is what you can look forward to!
“Great meals rarely start at points that all look like beginnings. They usually pick up where something else leaves off. This is how most of the best things are made – imagine if the world had to begin from scratch each dawn: a tree would never grow, nor would we ever get to see the etchings of gentle rings on a clamshell… Meals’ ingredients must be allowed to topple into one another like dominos. Broccoli stems, their florets perfectly boiled in salty water, must be simmered with olive oil and eaten with shaved Parmesan on toast; their leftover cooking liquid kept for the base for soup, studded with other vegetables, drizzled with good olive oil, with the rind of the Parmesan added for heartiness. This continuity is the heart and soul of cooking.” – An Everlasting Meal
I read this book four years ago in our old condo overlooking the park. It was given to me by a dear friend whom I met in the restaurant industry years ago in college. She knew it was right up my alley, and she was right. It’s a meditation for cooking, eating, and living, written in the most beautiful inviting way. Tamar takes you in with her words and not only talks about meals made from humble ingredients, but also how to cook simply with whatever it is we have on hand. I think the summer months are perfect for a book like this because it can take us out of cooking ruts and present feeding ourselves in a wholesome, non-pretensious way. Adler takes things down to brass tacks and approaches food with passion and simplicity unlike anyone I’ve ever read. I hope you love this book as much as I do, and look forward to a few fun reflection questions and cooking experiments to come within the week! Our read after An Everlasting Meal for August will be two-fold: Upstream by Mary Oliver and Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Reading for those will begin on Tuesday August 1st. September will take us into Simplicity Parenting, and Autumn more wonderful reads that you can see here.