D A Y t h r e e
Hello, friends. How’s it going? How are you feeling today? Take a moment right now wherever you are reading this to check-in with yourself. Here is your practice for the day.
Your Daily Practice
Go somewhere quiet today if you can, the less distractors and noise the better. Close your eyes, sit in a relaxed pose, and take ten long, deep breaths. The rhythm of your inward and outward breath will infuse your being with calmness, giving you greater clarity to take your emotional temperature.
Ten long, deep breaths might sound like a lot, but when was the last time that all you did was simply be, paying attention to the ebb and flow of the air that’s giving you life? At the end of your breathing, and it should take some time, check in with yourself in a non-judgmental way, allowing yourself to honestly assess how you feel. It’s important to remember that you are not these feelings, nor are you your stream of never-ending and often paradoxical thoughts. If you are feeling left out, restless, or uncertain, know that you are neither of those. Not-a-one! You as a human being are much, much more beautifully complex than the sum of your thoughts and emotions. So when a feeling arises, take note of it and sit with it. Don’t let it define you, but rather, let it shine a little light on a part of you that perhaps needs healing.
Do this breathing practice for as long as you need to, and then in your journal or on a piece of paper, do stream-of-conscious writing for at least five minutes or as long as you feel you need to. Write down all that came to you while you breathed in and out, knowing there is no right answer. You are not your feelings, so whatever you felt does not add up to who you are as a person, so don’t be afraid of what you write. No one is going to judge you, because you don’t need to share this with anyone.
Once you have finished this practice, go on mindfully about your day giving yourself permission to rest. The first few days of habit shifting are the hardest. Be gentle with yourself. And if you feel tempted to check in with social media and not your feelings or the state of your soul, give yourself grace. You are doing this retreat with many other women who are very likely feeling the same as you at this very moment. You are not alone. This practice will give you vision to see where you’re at so you can begin to dream about where you want to go. It will likely make visible your insecurities, which is scary but how we overcome and learn from them. This can be messy work, but it’s this kind of emotional gardening that will likely grow the most fruitful harvest.
Although I said you do not need to share your journal reflections with anyone, I am going to share some of mine. I think it helps to see a glimmer of how others are honestly doing to let yourself check-in and do the same. Here is a bit of what I wrote stream-of-conscious…
- I feel freer right now, like I can breathe deeper and more fully
- But I still feel the pull.
- And I miss seeing what’s going on there.
- I wonder what so and so is up to?
- I also feel like I am missing out on opportunities for growth and my business.
- How is not generating an income for an entire month going to affect our family and my work?
- I wonder…
- Yet, how will this time affect my creative energy as writer.
- I feel excited to have this time to reset and write more of my book.
- And I also feel afraid of incorporating social media back into my life and this retreat just started!
- That feels lame.
- Do I not have good self-control?
- Why is this so hard?
- How do I grow my business as a writer in an authentic way and stay true to myself?
- Is this how everyone feels with social media, or just me?
- I wonder…
- Mostly, I feel grateful for being brave enough to do this. I feel brave. This feels brave.
- To give myself the precious gift of time and attention to what really matters.
- To see myself, Andrew, Stella, Theo, Alfie, and others I care so much about, in a more intimate way because I am not staring into the blue light of my phone.
- I feel all of these things, paradoxically so, and it feels good to do a check-in and get more air and more energy into my body.
xx Amanda
In case you missed it:
Angela - I feel edgy, but glad I’m taking this break. Will I be missed? I’m building a new house and it should be finished this month. I keep picking up my phone. I had much more patience with my children last night. Will I even want to go back to social media? I really pride myself on knowing all the things. I’ve finished 2 books in 3 days! I learned a lot yesterday about discipline and parenting. I really like my kids when I’m fully present.
Kristy - Thank you for sharing your journaling! Sometimes I get this weird feeling that I’m not journaling the “right” way- but there is no right way! {And yes I wrote that down during my stream of conscious writing :)} it’s nice to see what others are writing too.
Summer Lynn Geymann - Amanda,
Are you still looking online and reading online news articles on your phone?
I shut all social media down but I feel like I’m still on my phone a lot now checking new news stories and amazon. Like I swapped one for the other. Lol. Should I just nix all phone activity?
What are you doing?
Merci!
Summer Lynn
Courtney - Summer Lynn you nailed the way I’m feeling today! I’m still picking it up. I’m still scrolling on Amazon and Pottery Barn (of all things). I’m feeling guilty for this. Have you come to any conclusions about this or your feelings?
Summer Lynn Geymann - Courtney I realized if I REALLY want to feel the phone break I have to nix it all. Otherwise I’m just gonna swap one thing for another and find a way to get on my phone and scroll, read, zone out. So I’m keeping my Educational Duolingo app (I live in France and have to keep practicing French), my workout Sweat app, and messenger only because that’s the way I communicate with my family. I’m also going to allow myself to check my emails morning and night and that’s it! I’m started today so we’ll see how it goes. I want to feel the distance from my phone otherwise what’s the point. Hope that helps. Bon chance on your journey! 🌿🌿🌿🌿 Summer Lynn
Courtney - Thank you for sharing! I think I’m going to create my own modified version-similar to what you have done. All the best!
Julia - A little reminder to all of you who are doing this rest retreat: Please keep in mind that social media sites are literally designed to keep you on them for as long as possible, they are made to be addictive!! So if you beat yourself up about “not having any willpower” remember that it’s not entirely your fault! As a former social media addict, I advise you to look deep into yourself and figure out why exactly you feel the need to use social media this much. It could be a compensation for loneliness, or maybe you’re masking a depressive episode with it. You have to fix these issues in real life and from then on you won’t feel the pull anymore to spend hours on social media. It really is that simple – even though,I admit, obviously not easy. Good luck to all of you!
admin - Julia, indeed. And we will be exploring this fact just as we did throughout the last retreat. I would suggest that being addicted to social media comes with its degrees, along with the reasons as to why someone is using it. xx Amanda
Liz - I attempted to do the rest retreat last year and had a thought I’d like to share. For some of us, social media is the only interaction or ‘connection’ that we experience during the day. I have deleted my IG account many times and the loneliness is unbearable.Some of us long for connection in the real world that escapes us for many reasons, I can’t just call up a friend because I don’t have any. I can’t sign up for an activity because of the cost and I’m not able to drive myself right now. I love what you are doing though and I hope to one day be able to join as well.
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