It’s hard to believe seven months ago I was sicker than I’d ever been, emotionally and physically drained, in and out of the hospital while growing this little guy. Now in the haze of newborn joy where everything smells like mama’s milk and tiny diapers are scattered about, I can hardly recall just how sick I was. I know it happened and that it strained our family, but like a summer rain storm, it has moved on and filled that squall with a rainbow. And now here we are, one day after Alfie’s due date and happily far beyond that a small but arduous chapter of our big, beautiful story.
Despite the fuzziness of my first and second trimesters, I distinctly remember lying in in my bed, hooked up to an IV, feeling like forty weeks would never arrive. My close friends kept telling me to try and look beyond the fog and see each trial as a blessing from God. Because that’s easy, right? But truthfully and most importantly, I was growing a very healthy babe, and even though my body was tired and weak, it would soon again regain strength, my arms holding enfolding the newest family member snug on my chest. my woman warriors, my persistent and present and lovely mama friends, told me that this time of my life (yes all hard ten months of it) would sink into the foundation of my being and make me stronger and better and more grateful. I would hardly remember it, they said. Although unable to really see through the muck of sickness and fully believe them at the time, were they ever right. I don’t know what i would have done without their constant showering of hope from one mother to another.
So I say, now in the thick of happiness at home with my little clan, to any mamas having a rough go right now, whether sick and pregnant, trying to conceive, or simply in simply in a difficult phase of life and motherhood that seems to be digging you a rather immense hole, keep hope and faith. Cling to it with all your might and know there’s sunshine waiting for you. Life is one giant cycle and sometimes we are up, and other times down. Your time will come. A big rainbow is waiting to fill up your sky.
And if you’re in a bright place in your life, a place where your biggest concern is lack of sleep or having piles of laundry to do, now is the time to be that light for others. To change roles from patient to nurse and give back. I am learning that life will always be messy and busy and hard, whether you have one baby or three. I am trying to always remember that, and meanwhile, grace, grace, grace.
I see this as my calling now in this current season: to offer those I know are suffering or in a difficult place the support and encouragement to wake up and do life, no matter how hard, and be thankful for it. To be a mama warrior alongside them. To bring them a giant iced coffee and pretty smelling lotion. To swing by with dinner or just warm hug. To be present, just as I needed those closest to me to be, to help my fellow mama friends see beyond the ominous clouds in their life and let them know that they are not alone. This pregnancy has taught me so much, my community has taught me countless lessons, and although things are a bit hectic figuring out our family’s new rhythm, we are all heathy, full of joy, and ready to be a source of optimism for others. To those who helped me, thank you a thousand times over.